It’s been a year of the moons. New moons, full moons, bare slivers of moon carefully showing herself as I walked home to my apartment in the LES. I understand fully that I was born from the moon and that my soul is very, very old. Not only have I lived a thousands lives, but I understand that my past self is quietly showing herself to me now in the present text. I am humbled and peaceful feeling my soul live underneath the skies of today, but I am very unrelaxed knowing that I can’t have everything I want.
This is good though. This is the heart of spirituality, or so I tell myself day in and day out. I must let people go in order to rectify my past. I must not possess anything including arbitrary items and the more resounding notions that canopy love. I have to let go. Simple as that.
And yet when I get stoned with you and we are able to look at each other resting our eyes inches away from each other’s face, I see how important it was that you came back to me in this life. How our souls found each other once again and now, in my moment of fight or flight, I know I have to let it be. I have to let you go off into the world and try life the way you believe is your moral responsibility. And as for me, I know I need to go see the world and how people live in it apart from the very comfortable and socially-regulated world was I born into.
While I am very grateful and humbled that I have been given this chance, and while I recognize that I live in a free and modernized World that structures itself through democracy and not religious-obligations, I understand my search has only begun still. It is now my life’s duty to figure out what I am meant to do in order to be a better person and do better for the happiness of others; to fix my past by being the person I know I can be.
By this, I realize I am graciously declining coming to your house and blowing the lid off the pot. I must quietly swallow the burdens life has given me, be completely thankful that I met you again in this life, and then pray that how we kiss is never forgotten in the thousand lives we are meant to live together.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that if I let go of us in this life and let us figure out what we should be doing apart from being together, maybe in our next lives (or even down the line in this one), we will have been able to figure out what went wrong but why we were blessed with our final opportunity to make it right. To be together as nature and the moon always intended.
So tragic yet so beautiful…
such is life